How long have I got

In the hot light till the shine rusts?

I've been thinking through the hard stuff

Over light drugs like every night

No, you don't need to come over

'Cause I'd crowd please and I'm tired

Slowly morphed into a poser

Barely know her anymore

Do I look high-functioning or

Is my façade crumbling? Oh

God, don't actually answer me, Caroline

But oh well, look at my life

Bet you can't tell but it's kind of a bad time

A new spiral every night

Bawling my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine

Yeah, I might just shut up and drive

Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights

My nightmare actualized

Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right

I just got to the party

With the big shots and the Barbies

Empty talk and talk and talk until my ears bleed

He's holding a pill

He thinks that I should take one

But I'll raise him to the whole bunch

I'm kidding, God, he thinks I'm stupid

What a gut punch, but then we go

Downtown, there's no medicine

I'd spit out if it promises

Slowing down voices, don't want to hear a sound

But oh well, look at my life

Bet you can't tell but it's kind of a bad time

A new spiral every night

Bawling my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine

Yeah, I might just shut up and drive

Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights

My nightmare actualized

Got what I, what I

Maybe if I smile enough

I'll get away with giving up

I'll move across the country just to judge myself like just as much

As I do when I'm sitting here

I miss my friends, I disappeared

And haven't seen 'em in a year

Oh God, what am I doing here?

But oh well, look at my life

Bet you can't tell but it's kind of a bad time

A new spiral every night

Bawling my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine

Yeah, I might just shut up and drive

Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights

My nightmare actualized

Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right

I got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right

Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right